Cara

My mom just called me, crying.

We'd spoken several hours earlier. I've been trapped in my apartment, drugged up on Codeine and cough syrup (prescribed by the doctor) to ease some of the symptoms of the whatever viral bug I've picked up. She told me the dog had diarrhea and that she was unsure of whether to make a vet appointment for him.

I told her she should try to get him in to see the vet tomorrow. Dr. Tarlton is an farm animal specialist with a thick southern drawl and a slow-moving, relaxed countenance. He used to take care of Bevo and may do so currently, though I am unaware.

Apparently mom was able to get an appointment for today.

We knew Scooby wasn't exactly going to be examined and deemed the world's healthiest dog. Scooby had cataracts and joint problems. His tail hung droopily at his side, his eyes were milky and no longer lucid, and his walk was uncordinated. Occasionaly he'd get stuck in corners of the living room and find himself incapable of getting out. We knew he had terminal cancer but did not know that it had spread so much.

My point with all this is he was no longer that little furball of a dog that used to sneak licks of popsicle during moments of his owners' carelessness. He didn't yowl along with the neighbor's dogs like he used to, earning the early-morning rage of both my mother and myself.


When mother took him to the vet he told her the cancer was in his lymph nodes now. My mother decided to put him to sleep. I'm impressed she made the decision on her own. I respect that a lot.

That said, for my own selfish reasons, I do wish she'd given me the opportunity to give him one last pat. I love that little bugger. I picked him out from the rows of dogs at a kennel when I was a kid. He and I were inseparable when I was little. He'd lick my arms and my face and I'd taunt him with squeaky toys. However, I understand that my presence would have been completely unnecessary and that killing an animal is an unpleasant task and one that probably needs to be carried out quickly once the owner decides it's time.

My mom is not one who likes making choices and this is one which she finds particularly emotional. I feel a bit guilty because I wasn't the most supportive with her on the phone. When she's upset, I find it difficult to reason with her. I know this is the exact opposite of what she wants (to be reasoned with) so I'm at the moment deciding how best to emotionally support her, which I know it's awful of me to say, but is one of my least favorite tasks.

Peace,

Cara

Dear professors,

It's probably not a good sign if you have to tell your students why they should be interested the material.

You telling me it's exciting attenuates your point because then I question your judgment, and more importantly, your objectivity.

<3
me

I'm not too excited about being back in class. 3 of my five professors leave much to be desired for--like substance. Is that harsh? Well, I mean it constructively. I'm alive enough to understand how to use a search engine, thanks. Something called the scientific method exists?? You don't say!
I've spent the better part of the morning attempting to read but then I got distracted by this bird with graying feathers atop its head. Then that led to seeing all the other little bugs/ animals on campus and comparing and contrasting their little pockets of existence with other inhabitants--like people. The levels of concentration. it was wicked cool.
Needless to say I got nothing of academic significance done and with have to feign some sort of something for class but I did get some frickin' awesome notes on campus life...well, animal life.

have a good day!!!!

1) bug the landlord to install my kitchen sink. It would be nice to have a source from which to draw water in the vicinity of the kitchen...remind him I'd appreciate the counters being added as well.
2) get prof to send the letter of rec he should *hopefully* be completing
2) move all my stuff out of my room and into a new room
3) write grant essays...june sixth is drawing closer
4) visit the psych advisers so they don't remove me from my major
5) scan hardware and smile at customers for long periods of slow-moving time
6) UNPACK from flipside (which was great and awesome and all other synonyms)

check out this site.

demonbaby.com

It's two thumbs up in terms of quantity and quality of amusement.

chao!




aww, he's a cutie. Usually he hides from cameras. In order to have any photographic proof that he exists, I either have to hold him down or wait until he is drugged/sleepy. Scooby Doo (his name :o) ,) is old. Thus he often sleeps and/ or is often on drugs. So, now I have pics. Sleep and drugs are clearly quite useful. ;o)